names / passwords

 Good lord.  Trying to get anything done on the internet these days is a pain.  Passwords I have used automatically for years suddenly don't work and I have to reset the password...for several different accounts.  I even have a book with all of my passwords written down, but those apparently aren't recognized by the account(s) that have recognized them for years.

I have a blister on my leg.

Ned is taking care of it, protecting it and wrapping my leg and elevating my legs all night, as I slept in the recliner.  But he doesn't know if I should see a doctor.

It used to be so easy.  Sign into Kaiser and send an email to your doctor.  But they removed that feature months ago and you can no longer send an email to your doctor.  I called Kaiser today and complained and she said she would send me directions for how I could write to my doctor.  Only the Kaiser web site would not let me sign on.  I had to change my password (the password I've used forever) and it was so incredibly complicated.  I eventually got it "changed" to the password I've been using and the site finally recognized me.

That's when I found out that you CAN write to your doctor. It's more complicated than it used to be, but I was able to write to her and send her a picture of my blister.

In the meantime, I am going to be staying off the computer today and just sitting with my leg elevated, watching TV.

* * * *

So I got up from my recliner and went to the bathroom.  I just sat down on the toilet, when my phone, which was on my walker in the hall, rang.  I couldn't get to it in time and when I checked it was my doctor who left a message that since she couldn't reach me, she would call Ned.  Then the phone rang in my office (the one we use for solicitors) and I assumed she couldn't reach Ned and was calling that number.  I got into my office just as the phone stopped ringing.  Then my phone rang again and it was her (Ned, by this time, was coming into my office to drop off some packages and he hadn't heard his phone ring).  Anyway, I did finally talk with her and we have an appointment tomorrow at 9.

car

 Ned and Marta always name their cars, so when they got this new Prius from Char, it seemed logical to name it.

I sent the picture to Char's kids and got reports that she would have loved it, and it made them teary.  Made me teary too!

Her death still doesn't seem real to me unless I think of something I want to tell her (many times a day), and would have texted to her and then realize that I can't do that any more,

I'm still at the point where I get teary several times a day, briefly, but I'm getting better.

Looks like her memorial service will be in December, after Christmas, which is great because Jeri will probably still be here, since she and Phil are coming out for Christmas.

Stage Mother

 Today I felt like a stage mother.

It's Tuesday, and on Tuesday Ned and Clyde have their weekly radio show, which I always listen to.  It's from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m.

Then at 4 p.m., Jeri and her friend David McGrory were doing their annual concert, which is streamed by Berklee, so I watched that.  (Woodwind multi-instrumentalist Jeri Sykes and pianist David McGrory bring the tradition of "doubling," common in jazz and theater, into the world of classical music, presenting an evening of chamber music performed on a variety of instruments.)

https://www.facebook.com/695345995/videos/1276571246679285/

Missing texts

 It's going to take a long time before I don't miss being able to write to Char.  There were so many things I wanted to tell her about our trip to Santa Barbara, for example.

One thing was about granddaughter Brianna.  I haven't really seen her the last few times we have been to Santa Barbara.  As a teenager, she preferred to stay in her room upstairs than mingle with the visiting relatives.  So when I saw her on this trip, at first I didn't recognize her!  She looked so different (though in this picture there is no doubt that she is Tom's daughter!).  That made me feel sad because it meant that I had lost all connection to her (and she didn't talk to me at all this time around).  Char had such incredible relationships with her grandchildren and it made me sad that I don't have that.

The good thing, though, was that what with when we were in Santa Barbara in July, and on this trip, I had a good visit with Lacie, who previously had ignored me.  We had matching pants, for one thing (lol), we played cards and when I was leaving to go home, she ran outside to hug me.  Now THAT was a novelty and made me feel very good.

There were other things I wanted to share with Char, mostly how "old" I felt in Santa Barbara.  Knowing how she had been feeling prior to her death and the things she told me about how her body was failing, I wanted to share with her how I felt.

If I was lucky, I might have seen her twice a year in the past few years because we lived so far apart, so I won't miss seeing her, but I sure will miss our emails and texts.

Sunday Stealing

Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves.

1. What do you hope your last words will be?
I love you.

2. What do you spend the most time thinking about?
This week it's my best friend, who died on Tuesday.

3. What is something you can never seem to finish?
Cleaning my office!

4. What mistake do you keep making again and again?
There is either a problem with my keyboard or my fingers.  I keep running words together.  I used to type 130 wpm; these days I'm lucky if it's 30 wpm, with all the corrections I have to make.

5. What’s the best thing you got from your parents?
I got my father's humor.  I wish I had gotten my mother's ability to be a hostess.  Probably I got my card playing fascination from her.

6. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older?
I don't know that there is a best thing about being in my 80s.  The worst is definitely the death of friends.

7. What do you wish your brain was better at doing?
Math

8. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?
We lived halfway between the Ghirardelli chocolate factory (when they made chocolate there), and a coffee roasting company and I often went to school with the smell of mocha in the air.  I also love the smell of the mechanics of cable cars, which were a block from where I grew up and which I rode to school in high school.

9. What have you created that you are most proud of?
Other than my children, the book I wrote about The Lamplighters theater company.  I can look myself up in the Library of Congress.

10. What were some of the turning points in your life?
*leaving school and working for the Physics Department at UC Berkeley
* getting married
* having children
* hosting foreigners
* traveling
* volunteering with The Lamplighters

11. What song or artist do you like but rarely admit to liking?
I always admit to liking Judy Garland, less frequently liking John Denver

12. What small impact from a stranger made a big impact on you?
My son and I got a flat tire at night, driving home from San Francisco.  I tried to change the tire, but the car slipped off the jack.  We hoped for a police car to come along but found out later that it was miles away and would not have come near us for hours, but a car saw us, got off at the next stop, came back and picked us up (so scary getting into a stranger's car!) He took us to the nearest restaurant, gave me money to buy food for Paul and refused to give me his name so I could repay him.  It was definitely a play it forward moment for me. (this was before we had cell phones)

13. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of?
Well, dying, of course, but more becoming unable to function.  I am so lucky that our son lives with us!
These days, I am terrified that Trump will win the upcoming election.

14. What are some of the events in your life that made you who you are?
Definitely working with The Lamplighters.  Giving birth to 5 children.  Hosting 70 foreigners from 14 different countries.  Many of our travel experiences.  Working for the local newspaper for many years.

15. What could you do with $2 million to impact the most amount of people?
My sister-in-law and her husband have worked with a group to bring fresh water to places in Africa.  I think any opportunity to bring fresh water to an area would make the biggest impact.

Saturday 9

Welcome to Saturday 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!

Saturday 9: Jolene (1973)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Dolly Parton sings about a woman with great hair, great eyes, a great smile and a great voice. OK, so Jolene has it all. Of these, which is your most attractive feature: your hair, your eyes, your smile or your voice?
It used to be my hair, and I guess it still is, though it's not as attractive as it used to be.

2) Dolly tells us her husband mentions in Jolene in his sleep. Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't know.  Nobody has ever told me I do and I don't stay awake to listen.

3) Dolly has said this song was inspired by a bank teller she caught flirting with her husband. That was in the 1970s. Today we can do our banking from our computers, our phones or a bank ATM. When is the last time you spoke to a banker?
A couple of years ago when we had Ned added to our account.

4) Dolly had a crush on Johnny Cash. When she was just a teen she saw him perform at The Grand Ole Opry and called it "love at first sight." Are you crushing on anyone right now?
No.

5) Dolly is more than a singer/songwriter. She's an industry! Her Dollywood is a theme park, water park, hotel and spa. Looking back on the summer of '24, did you visit a theme park, water park, hotel or spa?
No.

6) A luxury stay at Dollywood can get expensive, unless you're the teacher who wins this year's Chasing Rainbows Award from Dolly. She treats a deserving teacher to a week at Dollywood. Tell us about a teacher who made a difference in your life.
I've talked about Sister Anne before.  She was my typing teacher in my junior year in high school, but she became a friend for the rest of her life and our daughter is named after her.  At one point was going to enter the convent because of her, but she talked me out of it.  Sister Mary William put me on the yearbook staff and made me feel comfortable with my writing.

7) Dollywood is in Sevier County, TN. Her ties to the community are strong, and in 2007, Dolly raised the funds to build a new hospital that opened there in 2010. When you were last in a hospital, were you a patient or a visitor?
The last time was probably 3 years ago, when I had my gallbladder  removed.

8) In 1973, when "Jolene" was popular, Elvis' "Aloha from Hawaii" concert aired. "Aloha" is the native Hawaiian word used when greeting or parting. Can you say anything else in Hawaiian?
How about Humuhumunukunukuapua'a (a trigger fish).  There was a time many years ago when I wanted to learn Hawaiian, but I can't remember anything else now except mele kalikimaka, Merry Christmas

9) Random question: Have you more recently eaten cold pizza or cold fried chicken?
pizza

But she's still around

So we had clam dip for two days.

And then today, Jeri sent this... 

She made pumpkin pie.

A Facebook friend sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

Then on Jeopardy tonight was a question that Char would have needed to know and I would have written to her about it, about a pendulum, which Mike used to talk about.

Wheel of Fortune contestants this week are all best friends and each pair is talking about how they met and how close they are to each other.

Her daughter Tavie wrote a beautiful piece about her and included several photos on Facebook. 

All day I keep thinking of things I want to tell her and I had a hard time sleeping because I kept crying.