Depression

 I have had some messages from readers wondering where Funny the World has gone and I promised to  get an entry up today, though it may be shorter than I intended...but I will put an entry up tomorrow too.

Charlotte's death has affected me more  than I expected.  I was sitting in my recliner the other day wondering why I just didn't have the energy or interest in getting up, writing a journal entry and making a dent in all the letters I have to answer.  I finally decided it was depression.  She is in my dreams (and I don't normally dream) and several times a day I think of things I want to share with her.  Tom told me the other day he plans to come up with Walt's sister for the memorial service and that got me crying.  I just miss her, dammit.

I bought a pair of earrings that I paid too much for but it just was so Char that I had to get them.

I decided for the first time since Jeri was a baby, I am not writing a Christmas letter this year.  I just can't seem to sit down and talk about how our year has gone when Char's death is such a huge cloud over everything.

In addition to that, I am feeling weak physically.  I have had another fall and did not injure myself, but I am afraid to do anything without my walker and am actually nervous doing anything if I know Ned is not at home.  It's too easy to sit in my recliner and watch the squirrels (the dad and 2 youngsters) play while an NCIS marathon is on.

We got Char's wheelchair which is a godsend.  Ned and I went to the doctor the other day and the clinic we had to go to was w-a-y at the other end of a long hall.  No way I could have made it with my walker.

So there are reasons I have not been writing, but I hope to get back to regular entries again.  Next time I'll talk about my legs and what a godsend Ned has been, but I find that an hour is about all my body can handle at my desk for now.  I hope  to work up to more.