slowly....

 I found this picture yesterday and wanted to post it.  How long ago was that???

I'm slowly trying to re-learn everything I used to know so well, with the computer and posting to the internet, etc.

It's difficult to do all this stuff without a desk.  It's just not the same having to write in the recliner, with the computer on my lap.  But it's better than nothing.

It's difficult being non-mobile.  E.g., I'm sitting here in my recliner with a blanket on my lap and wearing a sweater, but the heat is on and it's HOT in here and I can't sit up to take off the sweater.

I listened to Ned's show this morning.  My brain is really strange.  *I* know it's Ned's show, but part of my brain thinks it's David's show.  Why?

My brain does weird things.  For example, i have a massage function on my bed and whenever it starts for some reason, my brain thinks that it's nice that Stephen (Calegari) got it for me.  I haven't seen Stephen since the 1950s!  So why my brain thinks Stephen got this massager for me I'll never understand.

The computer tells me that my battery is low. I have to find a cord and plug this in, somehow, so Ill have to stop here and write more tomorrow,

...and life moves on

 So we are back at "normal," with Jeri back in Boston and all the holiday celebrations finished.  i slept in this morning -- I am so lucky I have such a comfortable bed.  I got downstairs for breakfast late and now (11:00) it's nearly time for lunch.  I'll probably have lunch sent up because I just got all comfortable in my chair and don't want to go through the wheelchair business again until dinner time. 

I'm trying to do stuff on the laptop and can't find ways to do things.  It's very frustrating....and the fact that I need new glasses and can't ssee well doesn't help.

Moving on...

 I'm trying to re-learn all the things I used to do on a daily basis.  Can't remember how to start an entry, cant remember how to get photos, etc.  I'm slowly re-learning, but it's very frustrating.  i used to do this stuff in my sleep and now I'm struggling to find pretty much everything.  Like I'm here on this web site...how do I find my mail?  I know it's here somewhere.  And how do I find the picture i thought I'd sent to the laptop.  It's going to take awhile before I feel comfortable using this laptop again.

33 degrees outside this morning.  it was good to be warm in my comfortable bed.

I had breakfast with Jeri and Ned and then came back up here to my room to try to figure out how to use the computer I used to be so comfortable with.  I've finally found how to write a new entry...and to post photos

I had breakfast with Ned and Jeri this morning. How I love having adult children who are my friends. I hear from so many who either don't see their kids or don't care about their parents. Somehow I have adult children who like me and I like them.  They are such great people and have become such interesting adults.

But the holidays are over and it's time for Jeri to return to Boston.  I will miss her.  It's been so nice having her around this past month.  But she has a job to return to (not to say a husband who is back home!)  

And life carries on.  I'm very lucky to have such a nice place to live in.  I like most of the people who take care of me.  I remember when I first went into a home in Sacramento after my fall, then a care place in Carmichael and now here in Davis.  It's been nearly a year since I left home for the last time...and may never be able to return there.  But if I have to live in a facility, this is a nice place.

I remember at first asking for only women to take care of me, but things have changed so much... heck if the janitor tries to take care of me I won't object.  My concern for the privacy of my body has changed considerably over the past year.

I'm still learning how to find things on the computer and hope that within a few days I'll start to feel comfortable again.  I have missed writing and it's nice to be writing  a little again 

Where am I?

 Jeri just left me my laptop and we talked a lot about writing and I'm trying to figure out how to make a new entry to this journal...and maybe start keeping it again.  Wow...it's been so long since i typed anything this feels weird!

OK...earlier in 2025 I fell and fractured my hip and went into first the hospital, then a recovery place in Sacramento and now Carlton Senior Living in Davis, where I am apparently here indefinitely.  

Hey...it worked.  I'm having to learn a whole bunch of things that I once knew to write this...big success finding a way to post a photo from my PHONE to the laptop and to this entry.  This is one half of my apartment, decorated for Christmas.

So where was I?  I am now in my second childhood, meaning I can't walk, have to wear diapers, and have a host of helpers taking care of me.  Thank goodness Walt took out long term care insurance when we were first married .... advice to newly married couples!  Get good long term care insurance...and have children!  My life is much easier having children who are helping me, especially learning all the financial and practical things so they can take over for us when needed,

Carlton Senior Living is about 4 miles from our house, where Walt lives with Ned and Marta, so he is able to come and visit frequently.  If you have to be in a place like this, this is a good one.  I like my room, most of the staff are great, the food is good and now that I have this journal up and running again, maybe i will get back to  writing.

There are activities here, but I don't participate in most of them, mostly because someone has to get me into my wheelchair and GET me to the activity, but I'm happy here in my room, reading and watching TV. (I'm part of the book club here0.  Fun watching the old quiz shows back from the 80s.  My kids remind me of how upset I was with my mother for not getting involved in activities where she lived...now I'm doing (or not doing) the same thing  I understand her better.

I've been doing a lot of internet, but using my cell phone.  If I get back to using the laptop maybe I'll start writing more.  I do miss writing  I find that as I'm going to sleep at night I am often writing a journal entry in my head.  Now I'm trying to use the laptop again.

I will be 83 in a month.  I don't feel 83...but then I don't know what 83 feels like.  The bad thing about getting old is that you lose your friends.  My closest friends are either dead, have dementia, or have written me out of their lives because we are at a distance.  I find that at this age, I'm not interested in making new friends....which is difficult for me anyway because I'm so bad at chit chat.  I take a book with me to meals and that keeps me occupied and nobody tries to sit with me.

I don't know if I''m going to start writing a daily entry again but i thought I'd try and see where it goes...so much to re-learn!  But I miss writing.  So let's see what happens,

Turning 82

 What a fabulous 82nd birthday .  It started with Marta going downtown to get fresh bagels for breakfast.  I had nice chats with Jeri and Tom and a box of chocolates from Jeri was delivered. Ned’s show turned out to be for my birthday, with music I like, phone calls from the granddaughters and Steve Schalchlin.  Ned went to Costco and got huge crab legs for dinner.  And we had cheesecake for dessert. 

I feel very special.

How things are

 Jeri tells me I need to get something other than “butt butt” written.  So here is how things are going. I’m

pretty much house bound now.  I spend my time in bed or in my recliner.  NoW that Ned has found me a tv table it’s great to be able to type more easily, though I can’t print unless I go into my office.  

Ned is doing such a great job taking care of me.  If he were not here I would not be able to stay in the house.  I am so grateful for all he’s doing.  

Monday I will turn 82.  How did I get so old?  Walt will be 85 at the end of the month.  

Jeri and I have a long distance book club going and have read and discussed several books.  It’s fun having someone to talk books with.  

Butt…butt…. E

 I put on pants today.  I had developed bed sores from sitting in my recliner for weeks and Ned decided that in addition to the ointment he was using I should keep my pants off. Everybody in the house has been seeing my bare butt for days. (And it’s helping, fortunately). But I wanted to work in my office so I had to actually put pants on.

I actually worked for an hour and a half before my butt hurt so much I had to quit but I did get some stuff done, including sending letters to each of my 15 Compassion kids ( thanks to their email system which allows me to copy letters to other kids).  I didn’t get any real letters written (which I hoped to do ) but I did spend 30 minutes longer than I have done in the last month. 

But now my butt hurts again and I guess it’s time to bare my butt again. 

Ned and Marta have gone off for several days and my caregivers are Jeri and Phil. 

Falling

 I seem to be falling a lot more. Yesterday I fell trying to step up into the house. 

Ned couldn’t lift me himself so we had to call 911 and the firemen came and got me up.

Then I half fell in the bathroom (which is too small to really FALL).  I’m afraid to walk anywhere. 

magic day

Yesterday was so special that I had to write about it.  Plus so many people have said they are sorry  to see FTW ending...and so many things have happened since I "ended" that may be I'll continue...at least for a bit, to catch up on all that has been happening over the holidays.  But I have to start with yesterday.

I woke up yesterday, not wanting to do what we were going to do.  It was the day of Char's memorial.  I knew I would be emotional all day, wondered if my one pack of disposable tissues would be enough, and I got ready for the day.

Now the "magic" of the day started with getting dressed.  I have these terrible ed sores on my bottom that hurt terribly whenever I sit and so Ned has had me not wearing any pants because everything I put on hurts.  But he dressed me and there  was no pain.  There was no pain getting into the car or riding 2 hours to the memorial and there was no pain whatsoever during the 5 or so hours we were there.  As soon as we got home and I got out of my clothes, the pain was back.  I had talked with Char in the morning and asked her to help me get through the day...and I guess she did.  I've also has problems going to the bathroom many times during the day, but I only had to go twice and the handicapped bathroom was perfect.  Jeri and Marta helped me and things went perfectly.

At least one person (and many more) person was there from every one of the Pinata families.  Tom and Alice Nan drove up  from Santa Barbara.

Jeri and her godmother, Jeri

The "ceremony" was a series of people giving their memories.  I cried a little, but laughed a lot more.  Everybody was great, especially Ned (who talked about the pumpkin pies) and Eric (who brought lots of stuff to show and was just terrific).  Jeri read my comments and added her own.

When the "formal" part was over, there was visiting. One woman came and introduced herself as Lupe and said she had been one of Char's caregivers during her last days and she had heard so much about me that she wanted to meet me.  

It was so nice seeing all the gen 2 Pinata "kids" (many of whom are now grandparents).  I had a nice chat with one guy who seemed to know me quite well and I didn't have a clue who he was until someone pointed out that he was husband of one of the pinata people...last time I saw him he had hair!

Before we left, there was a picture taken of the pinata people who were still there...great photo.  Char was usually the one hold in the "who invited all these tacky people."  I got to do it this time.

I  realized what a healing event this was.  I still miss her terribly, but the pain that I have been dealing with since she died is much better.

There was clam dip at Dana's for the Pinata people, but after,, but Ned, Marta and I came home.

The End

 I started Funny the World in March of 2000 and for most of its life wrote daily entries for nearly 25 years.  But I've decided that it's time to end.

In the early years there were lots of interesting things to write about -- dogs I fostered, my Weight Watchers stint (when I had hundreds of followers), our various cruises, when I wrote at the ship computer, and lots of other things, but now my life is pretty boring, as far as writing daily entries.  Ned brings me my breakfast (a bottle of Ensure and coffee) in my recliner, where I have slept the night.  I watch TV and the squirrels all morning, feeling guilty for not  going into my office.  i make a few tortured trips to the bathroom, limping carefully on my walker (afraid of falling again) and back again.  The afternoon is pretty much the same.  My life is the television, the squirrels and the dog.  Not much to write about.  I'm also still depressed about losing Charlotte.

So this is my last entry.  For those of you who have stayed with me all these years, I thank you so much.  I have loved writing these entries, but these days I even bore myself.

Thank you.  I love you.

Good bye.

(I will keep this blogger up so I can write Saturday 9 and Sunday Stealing occasionally, but no other entries)

Sunday Stealing

 Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves.

1. Has reading a book ever changed your life? Which one and why, if yes?
   Hmmm...I don't think so.  I've read a lot of books that made me think more and research more, but I don't know that any has changed my life.

2. Do you prefer to read fiction or non fiction.
   Both.  I especially enjoy (auto)biographies, but I love fiction.
   
   
3. If you could be a character in any novel you've read, who would you be
   A lot of us have answered Jo from "Little Women."
   
   
4. Has reading a book ever made you cry?
   I pretty much cry at everything!
   
   
5. (Which one and why?)
   The most recent was Nightingale by Kristen Hannah.  It was very emotional.
   
   
6. How many books do you read a year?
   I have read 30 so far this year.
   
   
7. Name a book you had to read, but hated.
   
   
8. Why did you hate it?
   
   
9.  If someone wrote a book about your life what would it be called?
   Funny the World, of course
   
   
10. Have you ever written (or started to write) a book?
    I co-authored a book about a theater company in San Francisco and 10 years later I wrote the follow-up.
    
    
11. If you could pick a book you've read to make into a movie, what would it be?
    Oh lord, I don't know.  So many books I;ve loved have been made into terrible movies.  I guess I'd prefer to have a book be a book.
    
    
12. What was your favorite book as a child?
    I loved all horse and dog books.  I loved the Black Stallion books and the Lad a Dog books.
    
    
13. What are you reading right now?
    I just finished "Disclosure" by Michael Crichton

Family picture

 We finally got around to taking the family picture today.  I'm not sending Christmas letters any more, so people will get this photo instead.

I checked with our family portrait from last year and my 50 lb weight loss is very evident!

Thanksgiving

 What a great day we had.  I started the morning watching the Thanksgiving day parade.  I decided I'm entirely too old.  Of all the performers, I only recognized the names of two and with all those big balloons, I didn't  recognize most of the characters.  I did recognize Snoopy.

And of course I enjoyed seeing Santa.

After that I watched the dog show and we were all happy to see that Vito, the pug, ended up being the Best in Show.

In the afternoon, Ned made dinner.  I offered to help, but he told me that all I had to do was to taste.  I told him I thought I could handle it.   

He gave us a full table of food, including fresh green beans that Marta made.

And, of course, there was that delicious pumpkin pie for dessert.  Surprisingly my blood sugar didn't skyrocket this morning.  And I managed to have a full night of sleep.

Much to be thankful for!

Getting ready

I was so proud of Ned today. After watching a video I made for Jeri about how to make pie crust he made pie crust while I was napping, then made a beautiful pumpkin pie. So happy to see the beautiful pie!

He also redressed the sore on my arm, gave me a sponge bath, redressed my legs and took Walt to Kaiser for his final rabies shot. 

I am so thankful for Ned today — and every day 

ouch again

I was going to write yesterday, but I was too sore to sit at my desk.

I had written that I had a fall.  That was a few weeks ago.  Then on Saturday, I had another fall.  Ned and Marta were out and I was going  to feed the dog. The bowl was just a bit farther down than it was easy to reach and  grabbed onto my walker, but lost my footing and fell over backwards, hitting my head and scraping my arm rather badly.

With Ned and Marta not here, we had to call 911 and six firemen came out to lift me up and check to make sure I was OK.  I'm going to send them a food package as a thank you.  This is the third time they have come to lift me up.

I am feeling SO uncomfortable walking anywhere.  I'm afraid I'm going to fall and if Ned isn't home, I'd  rather just sit in my recliner and not chance another fall.

Depression

 I have had some messages from readers wondering where Funny the World has gone and I promised to  get an entry up today, though it may be shorter than I intended...but I will put an entry up tomorrow too.

Charlotte's death has affected me more  than I expected.  I was sitting in my recliner the other day wondering why I just didn't have the energy or interest in getting up, writing a journal entry and making a dent in all the letters I have to answer.  I finally decided it was depression.  She is in my dreams (and I don't normally dream) and several times a day I think of things I want to share with her.  Tom told me the other day he plans to come up with Walt's sister for the memorial service and that got me crying.  I just miss her, dammit.

I bought a pair of earrings that I paid too much for but it just was so Char that I had to get them.

I decided for the first time since Jeri was a baby, I am not writing a Christmas letter this year.  I just can't seem to sit down and talk about how our year has gone when Char's death is such a huge cloud over everything.

In addition to that, I am feeling weak physically.  I have had another fall and did not injure myself, but I am afraid to do anything without my walker and am actually nervous doing anything if I know Ned is not at home.  It's too easy to sit in my recliner and watch the squirrels (the dad and 2 youngsters) play while an NCIS marathon is on.

We got Char's wheelchair which is a godsend.  Ned and I went to the doctor the other day and the clinic we had to go to was w-a-y at the other end of a long hall.  No way I could have made it with my walker.

So there are reasons I have not been writing, but I hope to get back to regular entries again.  Next time I'll talk about my legs and what a godsend Ned has been, but I find that an hour is about all my body can handle at my desk for now.  I hope  to work up to more.

Out for dinner

 Ned's friend Adrian's band was giving a concert at Sudwerk last night and we went to listen to the music and to have dinner.

If there was any event that made me realize how bad I've become this was it.  Ned parked right by the handicap access and had to help me out of the car because I couldn't get my legs out.  Then walking with my walker to a table took forEVer.  We finally got to a table and I sat in my walker (because I couldn't get into the bench at the table).  Walt ordered us dinner -- mushroom burgers and fries.  The plate arrived and the fried covered it and I knew I couldn't eat them.  I also didn't think I could finish the burger, so cut it in half to bring the other half home.

But even eating the half burger was difficult but I struggled to finish it.  My voice was very weak and I couldn't  talk to anybody because nobody could hear me.  The concert was about 2 hours long, but I was fading after an hour.  I enjoyed the rest of the music, but really just wanted to go home and be in my recliner.

We finally left and it took me forever to get to the car.  I had to stop several times to rest.  Then Ned had to get me in the car because I couldn't lift my legs high enough to get into the car.

When Harris gave her big speech on the elipse the other day, she talked about how she wanted to make Medicare cover older people and it made me think about how blessed we are  to have Ned living with us and willing to do so much to take care of me.  If Ned didn't live here, I don't know what I would do.

But I do know that unless I have a wheelchair, I won't go to another Adrian concert!

Lazy days

 I'm spending my days in my recliner, with my legs elevated.  Ned took pictures of my legs the first day we went to the doctor, and a week later when we went back and the treatment he is giving them, as well as the elevation, is making a big difference.  But I sure have no energy and haven't even come into my office for two days.  

Will I ever get all these letters answered?  The combination of the legs elevated and just not feeling like writing since Char died has made it difficult to think of starting to answer them.

I'm feeling stronger about sitting in my office, but somehow when I try to write something, I just can't.  

Sunday Stealing

Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves.

1. What’s your guilty pleasure? 
   Watching NCIS reruns
2. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
   breakfast
3. What do you do when you want to chill out after a long day?
   Well, I don't have "long days" any more.  I chill out in front of the TV.
   
4. How would you spend your ideal weekend?
   These days, doing what I do every other day.
5. Do you listen to podcasts, or mostly just music? What’s your favorite podcast?
   I have listened to and enjoyed podcasts, but haven't listened to many lately.  I just started listening to Jon Stewart's podcast.
6. Do you prefer to go to the movies or watch movies at home?
   at home
7. What was your favorite TV show growing up?
   So many.  I guess the Ed Sullivan show.
8. What’s your favorite TV show now?
   I guess NCIS...I haven't seen enough of the new shows yet to have a favorite...but Outlander returns November 22.
9. How would you spend your birthday if money was no object? 
   pay for Jeri & Phil, and Tom and family to fly up here to spend a few days.
10. What’s your favorite season? What do you love most about it?
    Fall.  The temps are cooler and the upcoming season is winter.
11. Do you prefer camping or going to the beach? 
    Don't enjoy camping any more.  How about a cabin at the beach?
12. Which phone app do you think you use the most?
    Facebook
13. Would you instead cook, order delivery, or go out to eat? 
    Order delivery
14. How do you drink your coffee?
    Peet's French Roast, black
15. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you choose? 
    I'm happy with our dog, Bubba

   

  

Saturday 9

Welcome to Saturday 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!

Saturday 9: Me and Bobby McGee (1971)

Unfamiliar with this week's song? Hear it here. 

1) The song begins with Janis telling us about a trip from Baton Rouge to New Orleans. Have you ever visited Louisiana? If yes, where did you go?
We went to New Orleans as chaperones for a jazz choir that was competing (they won).

2) She and her boyfriend Bobby hitch a ride with a truck driver and together the three of them sing "every song the driver knew." If you were to begin a singalong with strangers in a bar or at a party, what song would you confident everyone knows?
LOL.  I Googled "songs that everyone knows" and got a list of 100 songs, none of which I recognized.

3) Janis had a painful time in her Port Arthur, TX, high school. She was ostracized for her looks and her taste in music. If you could give advice to your high school self, what would you say?
Enjoy your time here.  Do as much as you can.  Make good friends.

4) She credited the blues and Bessie Smith, specifically, for getting her through her tough adolescence. After she became famous and mentioned Bessie in interviews, Janis learned Ms. Smith had been buried in an unmarked grave back in 1937. Janis rectified the situation by paying for a proper tombstone for Smith in 1970. If money were no object, what's something you would like to do for someone else?
This question would have been a lot easier to answer 10 years ago.  Today...?  Probably pay for Jeri's new car.

5) Because of her party girl persona, people were surprised that Janis had a domestic side and enjoyed talking recipes. Thinking of cooking, what dish would you whip up for our Saturday 9 potluck?
Lasagna.

6) "Me and Bobby McGee" was written by the late Kris Kristofferson. Kris' life before hitting it big was varied, including time in Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, focused on English literature, and serving as a helicopter pilot in the US Army. Which career path do you think you'd enjoy more: academia or the Army?
Oh definitely academia.

7) In 1971, when this song was popular, the US Mint introduced the Eisenhower Silver Dollar. Think of the last thing you bought at a store. Did you pay with cash, plastic, or your phone?
I bought a t-shirt and paid with plastic.

8) England's Princess Anne turned 21 in 1971 and in honor of the occasion, she had an official portrait taken by fashion photographer Norman Parkinson. Who took the most recent photo of you?
Ned took a picture of me at the doctor's 2 days ago.

9) Random question -- There's a knock at your door. Who do you expect it is?
A UPS guy delivering something from Amazon.