I've been looking at a lot of videos of babies these days. I love babies. When we had five children, I imagined myself interacting with lots of grandchildren, but then Paul and David died, Ned & Marta didn't want to have children and Jeri was in her 40s before she married, so my only grandchildren are Brianna and Lacie, who are now 16 and almost 13.
My sadness is that I have no fond memories of interaction with the girls, especially when they were babies. The first time I held Brianna, my first granddaughter, she fell asleep and Tom took her out of my arms because he said she had to stay awake for another hour. She never liked to be in my arms as a baby. Laurel's favorite picture of me and Brianna is from Christmas, when she has just handed her to me and she is crying. I hate that picture. This is how she always was with me. She loved being in my sister-in-law's arms, but as soon as she was in my arms, she would cry.
I tried to spend a weekend a month in Santa Barbara after Bri was born so she would get to know me (her other grandmother was her occasional babysitter), but the first time I went down, I was very careful to do what Tom asked me to do, which is not get there before 2 p.m. I got there at exactly 2 p.m. and the babysitter had taken her out because nobody told her I was coming. Tom said I could see her the next time I came down.
I don't really remember much about Lacie as a baby, but neither she nor Bri wanted to be around me. When Laurel took a family picture of us, Bri always made sure she sat on the side of Walt that was farthest away from me. When I took Lacie into my lap to read to her, she always got down and went to do something else. My lap was too fat, I guess.
Whenever we came to the door, Bri would immediately turn and go into her room rather than greet me.
Being shy, I can never think of anything to talk with the girls about. I have been writing to them regularly, letters and post cards, just to help them think of me as part of the family. They rarely answer, but that's OK. They are "grown up" now and I don't need the kind of relationship I hoped to have with them when they were babies.
But how I miss babies.
________________________________________________________________________________
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Part of the responsibility comes from the parents. My father was fairly old when my son was born but I made sure they spoke on the phone, that we would visit (he was in another state) and that I would help the connection. I did the same with my father in law (our mothera were both deceased)
ReplyDeleteOh, Bev, I'm sorry that you don't have the relationship that you want with your granddaughters. Their parents should have helped with this years ago and it sounds like they didn't, which is disappointing.
ReplyDelete