Fathers Day

 I always had a difficult time on Fathers Day, especially in the later years of my father's life.  I looked for cards for him and had to wade through all the "I love you" cards to find one that had beer or some other alcohol on it.  My father was a difficult father.  In looking back, he had a lot of mental problems, for which they did not have medications when I was growing up.  We weren't speaking to each other when he died because I had -- for once -- gotten angry with something he did, and his response was to try to change his will so I got nothing (but didn't want to pay for an attorney, so he went about spending as much as he could so I wouldn't get his money).  I don't remember his ever saying "I love you" without following it with "...so I'm going to tell you this terrible thing about yourself."  I remember taking him the book I wrote, right after it was published.  When I got up to go home he said "you might as well  take that with you; I'll never look at it."

And then there is Walt, who is the perfect father.  I remember when Jeri was born and I was so disappointed that I didn't give him a son, but he fell in love with her immediately.  They are still very close.  

He got involved with everything our kids did.  He was Little League coach, learned how to score dives when our kids were in diving, and when the started theater, he was involved with every production they were ever in, building sets for the Sunshine Children's Theater.  He was a Boy Scouts and Indian Guides father.

Now that they are all adults, they are good friends. He talks to Jeri on the phone at least once a week (sometimes she calls; sometimes he calls).  He and Ned have lots of conversations and they work together whenever necessary.  He doesn't see Tom all that much, but when we are in Santa Barbara, he and Tom have a good time together.

It makes me so happy (and, if I want to admit it, a little jealous) that he is such a good father and works so hard to have such a good relationship with all our kids.

I love what a great father Tom is.  I remember when Brianna, who was not an easy baby, was a few weeks old that he called me in the middle of the night just to tell me how much he loved her.

Now that the girls are older, he is their coach on all of their teams and he's like his father -- involved in everything his kids are doing.

Father's day isn't a difficult time for me these days.  It's a time when I think about what a wonderful father Walt is and what a wonderful father Tom has become.

Happy fathers Day!

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