I was concerned when our granddaughters were born that they wouldn't know who we are. It had been my feeling that I would see them often and I even bought all of the Disney movies on VHS tape to show them when they came to visit. I had visions of our making cookies together (though Char told me it would be more like playing video games together). But they never even came to our house until they were in school and we ultimately sent the video tapes up to Tahoe so they could watch them there. They never watched them here.
I wanted to be a big part of their life from the beginning and planned to go to Santa Barbara every 6 weeks to spend a couple of days so they would know who I was, but Brianna's schedule as a baby was so complicated that never worked out. I think I only made two trips down and the second time I didn't see her at all because her babysitter had taken her out and so she wasn't home during the period of time that I was allowed to see her.
But they are now growing up. I have written them letters off and on through the years. Brianna now has email and text messaging and we exchange messages now and then. I suppose Lacie won't get her own phone until she gets into high school, but that will be soon. (Both girls have a great relationship with Jeri, thanks to the phone!)
I was going through old photos the other and and came across pictures of my grandparents
We saw my father's parents all the time. She refused to be called "Grandma" because it made her sound too old, so she became "Nannie." They lived in an apartment not too far from our flat and they had no car, so we took them everywhere. We took them to Mass every Sunday and wherever we were going, they came along, Nannie driving my father crazy by sitting behind him in the car and pulling on his seat as she asked him if he was sure he knew where he was going. Every place we went.
They came to dinner at our house often and my grandfather gave Karen and me a quarter every time he saw us until he got angry and decided we only liked him for his money.
I was Nannie's favorite grandchild and she often had me spend the night at her apartment, sleeping with her in her pull down bed.
I was jealous of Karen because Nannie didn't like her as much and didn't do much with her. I saw Nannie all the time and never really liked her. I have never visited her grave.
My mother's parents had 32 grandchildren and lived in Inverness which, before the freeways were built, took an hour and a half to get to. My father didn't like the drive (especially since I got car sick every time and he'd have to stop so I could vomit. We only saw them a couple of times a year.
Grandma always greeted me with a big hug and a "how's my precious child?" and I felt warm and loved.
When I look back on my two sets of grandparents, the ones who make me smile and who make me feel loving are my mother's parents...and we saw them rarely. Most of my memories of Nannie are negative and we saw them all the time.
So it makes me feel better about my relationship with Brianna and Lacie. We didn't have the time together that I hoped to have when they were babies and toddlers, but we have our own kind of relationship and as they continue to get older, it may get better. I hope they have the same kind of warm feeling about this grandma as I do about my mother's mother.
_____
8212
No comments:
Post a Comment